Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
