Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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