kristin has been a bad kristin
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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