Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
