I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
