In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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