Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
