I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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