he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
