Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
this just has baby written all over it
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Randomize
