i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
