Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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