4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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