She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
