I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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