Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
false alarm, still single
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
