Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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