The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we're making bets on your personal life
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just found a bag of teeth...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I want a musical about memes.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
