I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
