Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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