He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
These tits shall not be calmed
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
