YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
