Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
