and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
