So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
