I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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