so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
