Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
