it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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