They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
