Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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