just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
either way he was missing a nipple.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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