It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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