I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
