Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
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