I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
