Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
