oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
