i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
