@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
