You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
