Porn is love you can see.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
