i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
