Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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