Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
