Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
She said her name was "party"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
