she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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