they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
