Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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