I'm pants shitting drunk right now
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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