Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
