I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
