If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
